A better start today...

Today starts better than yesterday. Yesterday, I forgot my phone. So there was no facebooking on my break. No browsing the news on the bus. And I was a little bit cranky without my lunchbreak power nap timer...

What a crazy weekend…..

When I’m at work, I’m at work. Boredom is never a concern. Owing to the commute involved, I can be out of the house for 16 hours or so. I’ve also notice that I’m going to bed a lot earlier that I used to. When I was a teenager, and even when I closed at Mrs Fields, I could go to bed at two, and get up at noon, then shower and be out the door to work. Now I’m working morning/day shifts at full-time, which means I attempt to go to bed by 8 or 9. Sometimes I’m retiring by 7:30. Which is probably why it was decided that I should get mom’s AC, since I have a western facing window, and it sucks trying to sleep during the heat of the day. But I digress….

This weekend was busy. We are still trying to get Mom’s apartment cleaned out (she passed on right after the rent for June was paid, so we’re taking the entire month to do it. Most of the stuff is out of there by now. Karen, by younger sister, has her secretary desk. Which, btw, was in my room growing up (a little background: I had two brothers, and we usually shared the same room. Oldest sister moved out, then moved back in, and it was decided that I would take over the den as my room, as my sisters needed the larger bedroom, and 3 brothers in the smallest room in the house is just plain wrong. Nowadays, I still share an apartment with my little brother, and we’ve made sure we both have our own rooms.) A lot of the items are going to our older sister’s house, where it will be arranged for sale, or for distribution (making sure the keepsakes stay in the family).

Mom has been cremated already. Plans for celebration/memorial are still pending. It’s just one day at a time. Times like this when I feel the most grateful for being so busy at work. At least I have something to concentrate on. We have a couple of more trips to make, and then it will be done….

With all the events of the past two weeks…

I should mention that once you go with a 55” tv, you can never go back. I tried replacing mine with a 32” RCA set that I ordered from Wally World. But within a week of getting it, I was looking for a 55” set. And I found one. Along with no interest financing. I got a Vizio D55-D2. This was the Wednesday before Mom’s passing. Friday, I got the shipment notice. Sunday, we all know what happened. Last week, my TV arrived. And it was set up on the same TV stand as before.

Some things I like about it:

• Wi-fi access. Yes, it is a smart tv. And along with it come:
• Apps. I like one click access to Netflix, Hulu, and Spamazon. Along with Youtube. My Blu-Ray also has them, but it’s easier to access them straight from the TV.
• 3 HDMI inputs. The 55” Sony only had one, and that was taken by the Blu-Ray. I had to get a Cable Box with a component video output. Now, I can connect my Blu-Ray, my HD Cable Box, and my computer with HDMI.
• And finally, the lower power consumption. Only 41 watts. Where my rear-projection set used 240+ watts.

Right now, I’m using it to watch the Mariners beat up on the Tigers (currently leading 6-5 in the bottom of the 7th…).

How I’ve held up…

Yes, I’ve grieved over the passing of my mother. And I still will. The pain and the heartache can and do fade, but it will be a while before it ultimately goes away. I can get away with doing it in private. It’s a hard thing. But there are times when you need one of these.

This has pretty much been how I’ve kept it together at work…

So, what do you get…

When you add a little bit of religious fundamentalism, some possible alleged mental instability, some hate, and a part of ‘Murica, we can have high powered assault weapons… The combination is almost always never good.

This morning there was a shooting in a nightclub on Orlando (I’m not going to link to it. Just go to your favorite search engine for details). Everyone wants to just pigeonhole these tragedies into one simple cause. To blame one thing, and then use this as a reason to suppress it. But it’s lot more complicated than it seems to be. Some people are going to say that because the perpetrator was Muslim, that all Muslims are to blame. No. This is not Islam. If we were to judge the entire Muslim world by these actions, and the person who perpetrated it, then we should also judge all of Christianity by Westboro Baptist Church. This could be just a Lone Wolf act. Or it could be that the person was on the radar of the FBI (as has been alleged) and they either dropped the ball, or they could do nothing (often times, you just have a sixth sense impression, and that is not enough). Personally, I think the cause of this is going to go down as a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B, etc. Some hate, some untreated mental illness, access to firearms, and you have a tragedy in the making. In this case IMHO, religion was just an unfortunate coincidence.

BTW, this wasn’t some Syrian refugee or an illegal Mexican. The shooter was a US citizen, born in the USA.

But my thoughts on the matter don’t justify it at all. Violence is inherently evil. Irregardless of what the cause is about. Sometimes force is necessary, even justified. But to use it to force your religion/way of life/political view on somebody else, especially when they have the right under the law to practice however they wish, is never acceptable.

We are always going to be targeted. Because this is America. Land of the free. Where you can hold whatever opinion you pretty much want. Where you can worship any God anyway you choose. Where you can love whoever you want (as long as the other person is of age, and is capable of giving consent). Some of these items you might not agree with (and yes, I’m one of those who doesn’t). But that doesn’t mean you can resort to force of arms to foist your beliefs on others. From my times when I was on Usenet, I learned that you can ‘agree to disagree’. It is possible to have a difference of opinion/religion/lifestyle with someone else, and still get along. America is one the the few countries in the world where the political scene can dramatically change every four years. And not only that, but it happens peacefully. And some people have a problem with that.

Having said all this, my thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their loved ones. Having lost my mother last week (I’m still trying to come to grips with it), I can start fathoming the pain that these people are going through. These martyrs of freedom….

Picking up and walking on

After the Really Bad Day yesterday, life still went on. While waiting for the Sherriff to turn the scene over to the funeral home (obvious natural causes), I still remembered to pay the rent. And this morning, I remembered that the recycler was coming by to pick up my dead tv….

But today we were out, starting the cleanup of her apartment. Some of her recent purchases were going to be returned to bring down her credit card balances. Other items are being dispersed by common consent (there were rumors of a will, but we haven’t found it yet. Initially the intent was that everything would’ve gone to my father, but the trend of late was to make my sister the executor. Tomorrow, a decision will be made at the funeral home. Her wishes were to be cremated. I’m thinking a celebration will be planned later on this summer. But this month there are previously scheduled weddings and conventions that need tending to. Let those take the priority now. The Living take precedence over the Dead.

But in the midst of my sorrows there starts a new month that many of you will take note. And so to those of you fasting for the next month or so, I bid you Ramadan Kareem.

The shock still hasn’t set in….

Eventually it will. Then the grief will come. Details can’t be diclosed now, but most of the family has been notified. So I can write this. I hope. This is really difficult for me, but I feel I have to say something. This isn’t as much to let you know as it is for me to let it out.

My mother past away last night/this morning. I was last at her apartment last night. It was really hot, but her A/C was working, and I made sure she had water accessible. This afternoon, I came over, and she was gone. There’s going to be funeral plans, and we have to dispose her estate.

Death cannot be bargained with. It happens to everybody. For the most part, you can’t choose your time to go. There were several health issues involved, but that doesn’t lessen the blow. The pain is real. It hurts…