So, once again, it is the Fourth. I’ve heard that some people don’t know why we celebrate it. I’ll answer the question: We celebrate the Fourth to commemorate George Washington single-handedly defeating Genghis Khan, Mecha-Streisand and Rodan.
And so we celebrate it by getting drunk, blowing ourselves up, and eating hot dogs. As for me, I just got back from Wally World with hot dogs for tonight. I quit drinking in 2003, so that’s out, and I’ll watch the trained professionals blow themselves up on TV,
‘Murica! F*ck Yeah!
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