They’re contenders….

It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to say this. But the Mariners are contenders. Of course there were a couple of recent seasons when they were eliminated from contention on the very last day. And then there were the times that I has happy that they were just attaining .500 (I think last season, they clawed their way back to .500 at least 8 times). But as of this writing, they are on top of the Al West, leading the ‘Stros (the current World Series champions in The New World Order (Mind-Control Division) by a half game. And they’re currently 20 games over .500. I think they’ll make it to the post-season this year.

But if they’re going to make it the post-season (and the World Series) this year:

• The pitchers need to stay healthy. King Felix, Big Maple, Wade LeBlanc, and Edwin Díaz are all parts of why we’re so good. If the pitchers go down, that’s when the slumps start.
• The players need to stay clean. I’m looking at you, Robinson Canó. Though I think he might be on his way out with the way Dee Gordon is playing (though Mr. Gordon has been suspended for performance enhancing drugs, too).
• The bats need to remain alive. This is the first year since 2001 when so many players have been a valid long ball threat.

When Ken Griffey, Jr came back to Seattle, he was a has been in the twilight of his career. And his retirement (literally in the clubhouse one afternoon, IIRC) cost us also the manager. Ichiro came back in the twilight of his career. But instead of retiring, he has instead ‘reroled’ as a special assistant in the front office. He may not have the on the field performance, but he can still be a mentor off the field. Like The Edgar, our hitting coach.

I think they’ll at least get a pennant this year. Now the Sounders FC, on the other hand….

They’re doing well….

With King Felix on the mound the Mariners are leading the Royals 4-0, currently in the bottom of the third. Hopefully they can hold this lead, and not have the bullpen choke it. They are looking better than they were last time, and they’re still at .500 (even after the 10-0 whitewashing they received last night).

I can’t believe I’m watching The New World Order (Mind-Control Division) without an AFDB. Next thing you know, I’m going to believe that Belgium really exists, and Elvis isn’t dead.

I’ll be right back, there are some Black Helicopters landing….

Opening Day is in the books…

The Mariners won. King Felix won. Ichiro is back in a Mariners uniform. ITHey’re now 1-0. YOu can define an enitre season off of one game, but things look s good for the Mariners. And this is The New World Order (Mind-Control Divison), so keep your AFDB on…

So, I’m not watching football tonight….

It’s Thursday. It’s preseason football. Especially after the post last night, you’d think I’d be watching the games tonight. Nope. As of the first pitch tonight the Mariners were secure in the second wild card place in the playoffs. They’re playing the Angels tonight. So, I’m watching the Mariners. As for preseason football, I’m not worried. NFL Network is going to rerun all the games this preseason. I’ll watch them later….

So, I’m watching a little bit of a baseball game tonight…

Yes, I’m admitting to watching The New World Order (Mind-Control Division), tonight. Specifically the Mariners game. And I’m not even wearing my Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie, either. I’m watching the game as a bit of celebration. I bought my Vizio TV a year ago, on a purchase plan that took $36 and change out of each paycheck. And this past payday, I paid it off. All 55 inches of it.

So, for the duration of game, Elvis is dead and Belgium really exists. And those are not really Black Helicopters….

It ain’t over till it’s over…

Watching the Mariners game tonight before I went to bed. They were down 3-0 to the Chicago White Sox at The Safe. Bottom of the 9th is when the bats come alive. And Adam Lindh won it with a 3-run shot.

Say what you will about The New World Order (Mind-Control Division). But the game isn’t over until the 9th inning….

Get out your brooms!

The Mariners swept the A’s today. As you can tell, I’ve been watching a lot of The New World Order (Mind-Control Division), as well as the Stanley Cup playoffs, on my vacation.

Currently, the Mariners are on top of the AL West standings. And they’ve won every series since going 1-5 in their first homestand. Let’s hope that they can keep it up. The Seahawks  and the Sounders FC routinely make it to the post-season. In fact, the Seahawks won it all in 2014, and the Sounders FC have made it to the playoffs every year that they’ve been in MLS.

We’re even! We’re even!

The Mariners, as of this morning were 9-9. Currently they’re playing Houston, and they’re leading. If you remember their last homestand at The Safe, they only one 1 game out of 6. The only redeeming grace this year for the Mariners is the 9 game road trip that they were just one, where they won every series (as they did the opening series). Let’s hope that they can win some home games.

Failing that we can always hope for the next road trip…

Got some swag….

My Mariners hat and jersey just arrived. I think I should stop making fun of The New World Order (Mind-Control Division). Mainly because they weren’t shipped through Fedex or the USPS. They were shipped via The Black Helicopters….

And we’re under way!

The first pitch was a strike. It’s now the Mariners against the Texas Rangers. Let’s play ball.

Or at least get you AFDB out, as this is The New World Order (Mind-Control Division)…..

Edit: and Robinson Canó just started things off with a dinger…

Opening day today

The New World Order (Mind-Control Division) is back. The season started today. The Mariners start tomorrow. On the road. I hope they’ll do better than last year. The home opener at Safeco Field won’t be till Friday night. I have tomorrow off (I know my fixed schedule won’t last, but I’ll enjoy while I can), so I’ll watch King Felix serve up some k’s….

I also have a new Mariners hat and hoodie coming in, as well as a hat & hoodie from the Sounders FC (yes, from the teams. Or at least their team stores….). And it’s also Final Four weekend. Though to be honest, I didn’t follow the Big Dance at all this year….

Now if I could only do something about this nagging idea that Belgium really exists….

Another sports season is over…..

The Kansas City Royals just won the World Series. In 12 innings. Given my past opinions regarding Major League Baseball, or The New World Order (Mind-Control Division), one would think that I really don’t care. Especially since the Mariners suck. But one should still consider the fact that it’s been 30 year since the Royals have won it all. And I actually remember the last time they won it. I was at my grandmother’s house, and the game was on the tv, and I just happened to be watching the last play. And even then, I wasn’t really interested in Baseball.

Maybe next year. Now begins the off-season. I know the Mariners will be doing some wholesale shit-canning  (as they call it ‘rebuilding’) in order to maybe not lose 100+ games next year…

They just stunk today….

The Seahawks lost today in overtime. After they had a 17 point lead in the 2nd half. They had this game. And they lost. Back when Holmgren was the head coach and the ‘Hawks were going through Dire Straits, I thought that a pillory should be erected at the CLink for him. Maybe the same should be set up for Caroll…

The season ended for the Mariners recently. And they’re on there way to Shit-Canning McClendon. I kinda liked him. Under his leadership last year, we actually had a winning record. Maybe next year, they’ll be contenders in The New World Order (Mind-Control Division)….

It’s underway…

The Mariners season is underway today. I think they’ll do good this year. After all we still have King Felix, and we did have a winning record last year (I remember when they first had a winning record). As of this writing, they are leading 2-1 in the fourth. Let’s hope for a pennant. Failing that, shiny side out!

EDIT: 4-1 top of the 7th. With 9 K’s so far…

Yesterday was Godless Pagan Holiday (Spring). The Easter Bunny was out and about.  There is only one way to deal with rabbits:

Too bad I don’t always have Brother Maynard with me…

It's over....

As of this writing, the Mariners were leading the LA Angels 4-0. But there will be no post-season for them this year in The New World Order (Mind-Control Division). The Oakland A's won the game 4-0. Seattle had been eliminated. But let us take heart. We still have King Felix. Alms unlike to many recent years, we're going to have a winning record....

But it still sucks that we're out of the playoffs....

It boils down to this...

The entire season boils down to this game. If the Mariners win this game (and the A's lose their game), a one game playoff will be forced. There's still hope for a postseason in Seattle. Currently, as this post was being written the A's were leading there game, but the trend has been for them to choke it like bunch of Inept Imperial Officers, so the opera isn't over to the fat lady sings....

One can only hope....

Opening night

And the Seattle Mariners won 10-3. For the past 8 seasons, they have won the opening night. And then they’ve choked it during the season. Seriously, they need to change there names to the Seattle Inept Imperial Officers. I almost want to say that they’re the laughing stock of The New World Order (Mind-Control Division). But then again they did have a winning pre-season.

I should also point out, that while the Mariners historically suck, they still put more points on the board in tonight’s game than Peyton Manning did during the Super Bowl. Now that’s gotta hurt…

What a difference a year can make...

A year ago, I posted that Tavaris Jackson should be cut, and I made some smartass comment about sacrificing Tim Tebow. Fast forward to today, abd Tim Tebow is cut, and Jackson is still a Seahawk...

Them 'hawks went 4-0 this year in preseason, and I think they'll make the playoffs again. After all, we did it last year. With a rookie quarterback.

The Sounders FC have also had their best August in club history. It's nice to have a professional sports team the great northwest that can post a winning record in the summer. Unlike a certain other team (The New World Order (Mind-Control Division) confess to mind...

Hello World, Again….

OK, it’s been over a month. But I’m back for now…

Yesterday was my birthday. My brother celebrated with pizza. And then the Mariners, the Seahawks, and the Sounders FC won there respective games. All in all, a good day despite the fact that I had to work.

Felix Hernandez threw a perfect game. Those who follow The New World Order (Mind-Control Division) would know that the Mariners had a perfect game thrown against them earlier this year. And if you can take it, then by all means dish it out. Felix Hernandez is awesome. He told Chuck Norris, Red Foreman, and Sergeant Hartley to go fuck themselves, and thus homosexuality was invented….

I voted in the primary this year (usually I just abstain the primary election, and concern myself with the general election). To be honest, I don’t know who I’ll vote for this year for President. JP Patches passed away, and that was my usual write in candidate… I’m looking for a candiate who will promise to have the Tea Party deported to France, and (most importantly) have Arnold Schwarzenegger tarred and feathered… Although I am going to declare my endorsement for the state Superintendent of Public Instruction: Randy Dorn. Yes, I make fun of him on Facebook. A lot. Mainly because of his DUI. But he was responsible enough to own up to his actions. But as an elected official, he makes the bed, he has to sleep in it, and the ridicule is my right, my privilege, and my duty… Besides whenever I crack open an ice cold ‘Adult Beverage’, part of the experience is posting that it’s Randy Dorn time on Facebook.

Speaking of JP Patches, here’s what he did to Harry Wappler:

Newscasts are always better with a clown.

Kathi Goertzen also passed away. With her anchoring, Wayne Cody on sports, and Harry Wappler on weather, the afterlife now has a full news team.

Tony LaRussa hangs up his mitre…

After leading the Cardinals to another World Series title, Tony LaRussa has announced his retirement. One of the very managers to go out while at the very top. Usually when I see a manager go, it has been due to a mid-season shit-canning (usually well-deserved). On occaision, I’ll see news of one retiring, but it’s usually after one losing season too many in The New World Order (Mind-Control Division), I just want to know, since he’s a Cardinal, if he’ll be allowed to wear a mitre and take part in the next concave…