Happy Holiday to all

Well, today was Christmas, but I didn't celebrate it.  At least, not today.  My siblings & parents celebrated it at my sisters house on Sunday (but I had to work, so I missed it).  Then, the extended family got together on Christmas eve at my grandmother's (yes, I made it to that one.  The appropriate death threat to my boss guaranteed I got the time off for that).  Anywho, here is the list of some of the plunder I got from the Dread Christmas Pirate Santa & The Underpants Gnomes:

• A nice fleece hoodie and a cold (though I could do without that one) from my boss.
• Socks (yes, I did ask them)
• Table ware (plates, bowls, silverware, etc) for at least 6 (thanks to my sister).
• Kitchenware from my parents (maybe my Mom wants me to return her pizza cutter &cheese grater).
• Spam
• A target gift card (you can never go wrong with that).

And what really took the cake was the gift my cousin gave me:

• A roll of Aluminum Foil (specifically so I can make a hat with it).

Technorati Tags: Christmas,Holiday,The Underpants Gnomes

An announcement

My family had the Christmas gathering today.  I missed it due to $day-job, but my sister announced one of the better Christmas presents I have received:

I'm going to  be an uncle.  Again.

Happy Godless Pagan Holiday

Today is Winter Solstice.  Forget Christmas, this is the old skool holiday, predating Christianity by millennia.  With Christmas becoming so commercialized, most people nowadays are now celebrating Winter Solstice, not Christmas, whether they admit it or not.  Your actions speak more about you than your word.

As a devout Pastafarian, I celebrate Holiday, which encompasses all of December and January.  However, since The Flying Spaghetti Monster teaches Flimsy Moral Standards, it doesn't really matter how you celebrate, or what you celebrate, of if you celebrate at all.  As long as you have a good time and wear the Chosen Attire (Full Pirate Regalia).

Ramen.

Technorati Tags: Christmas,Goldless Pagan Holiday,The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Hawks have clinched it

The Seahawks have clinched the NFC West title.  Again.  I would've blogged about it earlier, but my Real Life® got in the way (with $Day-Job and all).  Too bad they lost today, though.

Note to Kurt Warner:  You may be a Cardinal, but you need to wear the football helmet.  Not the mitre.

The truth about Santa you really need to know

Santa is white, and he wants your kids to sit in his lap.  Santa is really Michael Jackson.

Santa live is the middle of nowhere, works only one night a year, and has the munchies so bad that he has to have milk and cookies at every stop he makes.  Santa smokes pot (this year I'm gonna leave Doritos for him).

Visions of flying reindeer and toy-making elves?  Santa drops acid.

If you've seen any of the Lord Of The Rings trilogy, you know what elves look like.  Those aren't elves in Santa's workshop.  Those are The Underpants Gnomes (which also explains why you get so much underwear for Christmas).

If you stay up for Santa, and you don't see him, don't be discouraged.  This year he will have to deliver to about 34,722 homes per second.  You only see 24 frames per second at a cinema.

Well, I should stop before I get nothing for Christmas.....

Technorati Tags: Santa, Holiday, The Underpants Gnomes

Say it aint's so!

The Mitchell report has been released regarding the use of steroids in The New World Order (Mind-Control Division).  You can read the entire report here (pdf).  It does name names.  Among the named are:

• Lenny Dykstra
• David Segui
• Larry Bigbie
• Brian Roberts
• Jack Cust
• Tim Laker
• Josias Manzanillo
• Todd Hundley
• Mark Carreon
• Hal Morris
• Matt Franco
• Rondell White
• Andy Pettitte
• Roger Clemens
• Chuck Knoblauch
• Jason Grimsley
• Gregg Zaun
• David Justice
• F.P. Santangelo
• Glenallen Hill
• Mo Vaughn
• Denny Neagle
• Ron Villone
• Ryan Franklin
• Chris Donnels
• Todd Williams
• Phil Hiatt
• Todd Pratt
• Kevin Young
• Mike Lansing
• Cody McKay
• Kent Mercker
• Adam Piatt
• Miguel Tejada
• Jason Christiansen
• Mike Stanton
• Stephen Randolph
• Jerry Hairston
• Paul Lo Duca
• Adam Riggs
• Bart Miadich
• Fernando Vina
• Kevin Brown
• Eric Gagne
• Mike Bell
• Matt Herges
• Gary Bennett
• Jim Parque
• Brendan Donnelly
• Chad Allen
• Jeff Williams
• Exavier "Nook" Logan
• Howie Clark
• Paxton Crawford
• Ken Caminiti
• Rafael Palmeiro
• Luis Perez
• Derrick Turnbow
• Ricky Bones
• Ricky Stone

The innocence is gone.  I will never watch baseball again in the same light.  If I ever watch it at all again.

Technorati Tags: Steriods, The New World Order (Mind-Control Divison)

YAHHGOAP

Yet Another Holy Hand Grenade Of Antioch Post (another one is posted here):

Who knew Monty Python fit so well into anime?

Technorati Tags: Monty Python, The Holy Hand Grenade Of Antioch

Good Riddance

A classic.  John Cleese's eulogy of Graham Chapman:

Technorati Tags: Monty Python, Graham Chapman, John Cleese

It's new!

OK, not necessarily that new, but NASA has remodeled there website.  A good place to poke around.  Especially if you're bored and looking for some desktop wallpaper.....

Technorati Tags: NASA, Space