I know it's a wee bit late, but....

The Seahawks are NFC Western Division Champs again! They had a really kick-ass first half to this season, but they've been choking of late. I can understand them getting beat by the Cardinals (after all, they don't wear helmets and pads, they wear mitres and choir dress, and you really can't beat up clergy). The Chargers game, on the other hand, should have been won, were it not for that one play in last thirty seconds. But you go to hand it to the defense for keeping us in the game, even when the offense wasn't able to put points on the board (the saying goes, "The offense sells the tickets, but it's the defense who wins games.")

At least the Seahawks will get one more week to choke. Although the M.O. for the Seahawks in the playoffs has been either to choke in the first round, or go all the way to the Super Bowl. And the choke.

But, anyday, football is still better than The New World Order (Mind-Control Division). All the times I try to watch Baseball, I end up falling asleep on the couch. When I wake up, all my aluminium foil is gone, I have thoughts that Belgium actually does exist, and AT&T Ellen Norberg (a known Mind-Control Agent) is always nearby.


Technorati Tags: Football, Seahawks, The New World Order (Mind-Control Divison)

Happy Holiday to all

I hope the great Christmas pirate Santa and The Flying Spaghetti Monster treated you all well last night (you do know that Santa is a Pirate, right?). In my extended family, we practice 'secret santa' (wherein you draw one name out of a hat, and that is the only person you need to worry about. A cost-effective way to celebrate Christmas). This year I drew my uncle David. I think I made him regret it. He emailed his list, and I got him everything on it (if I can afford to do it, I will usually stick to peoples' wish lists. That's what they tell my they want, and that's what they shall receive). So it's not what he got, it's how it was wrapped. I don't believe in the wimpy girly-man scotch tape. I use nothing less than three inch packing tape. And I covered every available seam and crease with it. There is a certain joy in giving (far greater than recieving), but there is also a lot of fun in watching your recipient victim try to unwrap your present.



My plunder this year:

1. A page a day puzzle calender.
2. 36 AA batteries.
3. 4 AA rechargable batteries (and a charger). From another party than the previous, and they didn't coordinate. C'est la vie, I guess.
   
   
4. An LED flashlight.
5. A can of SPAM.
6. A South Hill Mall gift certificate.
7. A Federal Reserve Gift Certificate (accepted anywhere and everywhere).
8. A Target Gift Card.
9. 2 visa gift cards.
10. The customary bag of socks (I actually do appreciate socks for Christmas).
11. A survival kit. Complete with survival blanket, whistle, flashlight, matches, and AFDB.
12. A couple of old, anitique glass treasures from my Grandmother. She had already wrapped them up, and they were distributed by lottery. I got a couple of glass dishes, one being from c. 1900 and is a collectors item, the other one I don't know where it cam from, but it is now my candy dish.

So the question to you, loyal blog reader is:



What kink of loot did you score this year? Or are you still waiting for the rest of your Pirate band to get together to go plundering?





Technorati Tags: Christmas, Holiday, The Flying Spaghetti Monster

The Godfather of Soul is with God now

James Brown has passed away. Heaven is now a better place.





Technorati Tags: James Brown, Celebrity Passings

Santa's being watched.

Norad is tracking Santa. Did you ever get the felling you were being watched?





Technorati Tags: Christmas, Holiday

The truth about Santa Claus

Some facts and myths relating to our favorite morbidly obese Christmas character:



Santa:

1. Lives out in the middle of nowhere.
2. Works only one night a year.
3. Has the munchies so bad that he has to eat milk and cookies at every stop he makes.

Conclusion:

Santa smokes pot.



Santa:

Has to visit a minimum of 23,148 homes a second.



Conclusion:

Santa drinks Jolt.



Santa:

Has delusions of toy making elves and flying reindeer.



Conclusion:

Santa drops acid.



Santa:

Is a white guy who wants your children to sit in his lap.



Conclusion:

Santa is really Micheal Jackson



Rudulph:

Has a very red nose.



Conclusion:

Rudolph is an alcoholic



(Side note: after last Christmas, the other reindeer staged an intervention, got Rudolph into AA, and he's been clean and sober ever since. However, this means no more red nose, and therefore until the sleigh get equipped with GPS, Santa will only be flying on VFR).



Myth:

Santa has elves to make his toys, yet you only seem to get underwear for Christmas.



Fact:

The real elves are in the Lord Of The Rings. Those aren't elves. They're the Underpants Gnomes. Which also explains why you get so much underwear for Christmas.







Technorati Tags: Santa, Christmas, Holiday, The Underpants Gnomes

Interesting things to do with a high-speed camera.

Farewell, ORDB

Slashdot is reporting that the Open Relay Database is shutting down (More here). Basically, the volunteers who ran it have to focus on other things-it is important to remember that these people also have jobs, families, and lives to attend to, and they should be saluted for the service they provided to the internet.



I still use rbls to filter my mail. I use Sorbs, the AHBL, and the meaning of zen.





Technorati Tags: Spam

Florida 1, AOHell 0

The Florida state AG has settled with AOHell (here) over problems with customers not being able to cancel their accounts. A copy of the settlement is available here (yes it is a pdf file).



I was with AOHell for all of one month. When I bought my Gateway, it came with a free year of service from them, but I decided to go with a real isp. Fortunately, I never had problems with them wrongfully billing me or reactivating my account. I have been called upon to service several of my friends' (and employers') computers, and I'm always amazed about how much faster they are after I uninstall the AOL software. To call it bloatware is an understatement. There was one box in particular, which ran some unsupported OS provided by the Anti-Christ, that had 4 different versions install at the same time. Talk about the Three Stooges Syndrome. I was amazed it could even boot to a desktop.





Technorati Tags: AOHell, The Anti-Christ

Just an amateur

Hecan neither play piano nor drums. And yet he can play some pretty catchy music.



This is what you can do with some good video editing.

Technorati Tags: Music

The Newest Ice cream flavor:

A load of Bullshit. Seriously, scientists have figured out a way to extract vanilla from cow dung. I'll stick with chocolate, thank you.

Note to the police

If you want to save on paper costs, buy your toilet paper in bulk. Like, say, a 20 year supply at a time. It could also come in handy if you ever have to book the Great Cornholio.





Technorati Tags: Toilet Paper, The Great Cornholio

They're Back!

Queen is putting a new album out. It should be out in May. Paul Rodgers is taking over vocal duties. Although I would prefer Brian Howe to Paul Rodgers (he definitely did a better job in Bad Company), it's still time to rejoice. It's been fifteen years since Freddie Mercury was taken from us, and I'm still discovering his music.





Technorati Tags: Music, Queen, Bad Company

Now availlable at Wally World

Wally World now has available in the Toy department: cocaine. They now carry everything.





Technorati Tags: Wally World

For those of you who can't watch Mythbusters

Wired has a few of 'em covered. But still nothing beats Adam getting hurt.