One of the last honest cops.....

A Wisconsin police chief wrote himself a $235 ticket for failing to stop for a school bus. I wish the Puyallup Police Department had that kind of integrity. But they don't. I don't even trust them to call 911 anymore. They'll probably just be playing office politics rather than take the call seriously.....

An open letter to my boss

Unless somebody in your family is getting married or buried, don't call me in on my day off. If you need me to work six-day weeks, that fine with me. Just put it on the farking schedule! I usually don't have any plans on my days off because they're days of rest. Not days that you can call me in at you leisure.

A Wicked and Adulterous Generation Seeketh after a sign

Well, not necessarily that, but a bunch of physicists (and other with more advanced degrees than dates) have developed a test to prove string theory. They have it wrong on two points:

1. It's not strings you're looking for. It's the Noodly Appendages.
2. As if you need to find proof. Look around you. There are signs of the Noodly Master's greatness everywhere. For Example, when He revealed himself to NASA.

Well, maybe if they wear the Chosen Attire (which is, of course, Full Pirate Regalia), maybe the Noodly Master will reveal himself to them.



Until then, Ramen.





Technorati Tags: The Flying Spaghetti Monster, Science Stuff

The country with the highest crime rate is

The Vatican City? What part does the pope live in, South-Central?

And you thought your driving instructions were crazy....

Check this one out. I have to use tinyURL on this one, as google likes to choke when you try to put ' in weblinks.

A Dramatic re-enactent

Of Tony Romo's present to Seattle in last week's game:




Technorati Tags: Football, Seahawks

Snow, snow, snow

It's been snowing pretty heavily tonight. Enough that the Puyallup Police Department has essentially closed off South Hill to all traffic (save foot traffic, which is really the only way to get around). It's a good thing I have tommorrow off. I don't think I'd be able to make in to work anyway.

Herman and Grandpa now have Lily to join them

Yvonne De Carlo, also known to most of the TV watching community as Lily Munster has passed away. She nows joins Fred Gwynne (Herman Munster), and Al Lewis (Grandpa Munster) in the Great Sit-Com In The Sky.



Ramen.

A note to Tony Romo

Thank you. For the kind present you gave us when you fumbled the field goal snap with about a minute to go. Too bad that this is the end of the Cowboys' playoff hope, as I wanted to see Terell Owens get many more well-deserved beatings.

Technorati Tags: Football, Seahawks

It does not matter......

If the Seahawks win or lose. It's whether or not TO get his well-deserved beating.

Go Hawks.

Technorati Tags: Football, Seahawks

I know it's a wee bit late, but....

The Seahawks are NFC Western Division Champs again! They had a really kick-ass first half to this season, but they've been choking of late. I can understand them getting beat by the Cardinals (after all, they don't wear helmets and pads, they wear mitres and choir dress, and you really can't beat up clergy). The Chargers game, on the other hand, should have been won, were it not for that one play in last thirty seconds. But you go to hand it to the defense for keeping us in the game, even when the offense wasn't able to put points on the board (the saying goes, "The offense sells the tickets, but it's the defense who wins games.")

At least the Seahawks will get one more week to choke. Although the M.O. for the Seahawks in the playoffs has been either to choke in the first round, or go all the way to the Super Bowl. And the choke.

But, anyday, football is still better than The New World Order (Mind-Control Division). All the times I try to watch Baseball, I end up falling asleep on the couch. When I wake up, all my aluminium foil is gone, I have thoughts that Belgium actually does exist, and AT&T Ellen Norberg (a known Mind-Control Agent) is always nearby.


Technorati Tags: Football, Seahawks, The New World Order (Mind-Control Divison)

Happy Holiday to all

I hope the great Christmas pirate Santa and The Flying Spaghetti Monster treated you all well last night (you do know that Santa is a Pirate, right?). In my extended family, we practice 'secret santa' (wherein you draw one name out of a hat, and that is the only person you need to worry about. A cost-effective way to celebrate Christmas). This year I drew my uncle David. I think I made him regret it. He emailed his list, and I got him everything on it (if I can afford to do it, I will usually stick to peoples' wish lists. That's what they tell my they want, and that's what they shall receive). So it's not what he got, it's how it was wrapped. I don't believe in the wimpy girly-man scotch tape. I use nothing less than three inch packing tape. And I covered every available seam and crease with it. There is a certain joy in giving (far greater than recieving), but there is also a lot of fun in watching your recipient victim try to unwrap your present.



My plunder this year:

1. A page a day puzzle calender.
2. 36 AA batteries.
3. 4 AA rechargable batteries (and a charger). From another party than the previous, and they didn't coordinate. C'est la vie, I guess.
   
   
4. An LED flashlight.
5. A can of SPAM.
6. A South Hill Mall gift certificate.
7. A Federal Reserve Gift Certificate (accepted anywhere and everywhere).
8. A Target Gift Card.
9. 2 visa gift cards.
10. The customary bag of socks (I actually do appreciate socks for Christmas).
11. A survival kit. Complete with survival blanket, whistle, flashlight, matches, and AFDB.
12. A couple of old, anitique glass treasures from my Grandmother. She had already wrapped them up, and they were distributed by lottery. I got a couple of glass dishes, one being from c. 1900 and is a collectors item, the other one I don't know where it cam from, but it is now my candy dish.

So the question to you, loyal blog reader is:



What kink of loot did you score this year? Or are you still waiting for the rest of your Pirate band to get together to go plundering?





Technorati Tags: Christmas, Holiday, The Flying Spaghetti Monster

The Godfather of Soul is with God now

James Brown has passed away. Heaven is now a better place.





Technorati Tags: James Brown, Celebrity Passings

Santa's being watched.

Norad is tracking Santa. Did you ever get the felling you were being watched?





Technorati Tags: Christmas, Holiday

The truth about Santa Claus

Some facts and myths relating to our favorite morbidly obese Christmas character:



Santa:

1. Lives out in the middle of nowhere.
2. Works only one night a year.
3. Has the munchies so bad that he has to eat milk and cookies at every stop he makes.

Conclusion:

Santa smokes pot.



Santa:

Has to visit a minimum of 23,148 homes a second.



Conclusion:

Santa drinks Jolt.



Santa:

Has delusions of toy making elves and flying reindeer.



Conclusion:

Santa drops acid.



Santa:

Is a white guy who wants your children to sit in his lap.



Conclusion:

Santa is really Micheal Jackson



Rudulph:

Has a very red nose.



Conclusion:

Rudolph is an alcoholic



(Side note: after last Christmas, the other reindeer staged an intervention, got Rudolph into AA, and he's been clean and sober ever since. However, this means no more red nose, and therefore until the sleigh get equipped with GPS, Santa will only be flying on VFR).



Myth:

Santa has elves to make his toys, yet you only seem to get underwear for Christmas.



Fact:

The real elves are in the Lord Of The Rings. Those aren't elves. They're the Underpants Gnomes. Which also explains why you get so much underwear for Christmas.







Technorati Tags: Santa, Christmas, Holiday, The Underpants Gnomes

Interesting things to do with a high-speed camera.

Farewell, ORDB

Slashdot is reporting that the Open Relay Database is shutting down (More here). Basically, the volunteers who ran it have to focus on other things-it is important to remember that these people also have jobs, families, and lives to attend to, and they should be saluted for the service they provided to the internet.



I still use rbls to filter my mail. I use Sorbs, the AHBL, and the meaning of zen.





Technorati Tags: Spam

Florida 1, AOHell 0

The Florida state AG has settled with AOHell (here) over problems with customers not being able to cancel their accounts. A copy of the settlement is available here (yes it is a pdf file).



I was with AOHell for all of one month. When I bought my Gateway, it came with a free year of service from them, but I decided to go with a real isp. Fortunately, I never had problems with them wrongfully billing me or reactivating my account. I have been called upon to service several of my friends' (and employers') computers, and I'm always amazed about how much faster they are after I uninstall the AOL software. To call it bloatware is an understatement. There was one box in particular, which ran some unsupported OS provided by the Anti-Christ, that had 4 different versions install at the same time. Talk about the Three Stooges Syndrome. I was amazed it could even boot to a desktop.





Technorati Tags: AOHell, The Anti-Christ

Just an amateur

Hecan neither play piano nor drums. And yet he can play some pretty catchy music.



This is what you can do with some good video editing.

Technorati Tags: Music

The Newest Ice cream flavor:

A load of Bullshit. Seriously, scientists have figured out a way to extract vanilla from cow dung. I'll stick with chocolate, thank you.