Happy Holiday to all

Well, today was Christmas, but I didn't celebrate it.  At least, not today.  My siblings & parents celebrated it at my sisters house on Sunday (but I had to work, so I missed it).  Then, the extended family got together on Christmas eve at my grandmother's (yes, I made it to that one.  The appropriate death threat to my boss guaranteed I got the time off for that).  Anywho, here is the list of some of the plunder I got from the Dread Christmas Pirate Santa & The Underpants Gnomes:

• A nice fleece hoodie and a cold (though I could do without that one) from my boss.
• Socks (yes, I did ask them)
• Table ware (plates, bowls, silverware, etc) for at least 6 (thanks to my sister).
• Kitchenware from my parents (maybe my Mom wants me to return her pizza cutter &cheese grater).
• Spam
• A target gift card (you can never go wrong with that).

And what really took the cake was the gift my cousin gave me:

• A roll of Aluminum Foil (specifically so I can make a hat with it).

Technorati Tags: Christmas,Holiday,The Underpants Gnomes

An announcement

My family had the Christmas gathering today.  I missed it due to $day-job, but my sister announced one of the better Christmas presents I have received:

I'm going to  be an uncle.  Again.

Happy Godless Pagan Holiday

Today is Winter Solstice.  Forget Christmas, this is the old skool holiday, predating Christianity by millennia.  With Christmas becoming so commercialized, most people nowadays are now celebrating Winter Solstice, not Christmas, whether they admit it or not.  Your actions speak more about you than your word.

As a devout Pastafarian, I celebrate Holiday, which encompasses all of December and January.  However, since The Flying Spaghetti Monster teaches Flimsy Moral Standards, it doesn't really matter how you celebrate, or what you celebrate, of if you celebrate at all.  As long as you have a good time and wear the Chosen Attire (Full Pirate Regalia).

Ramen.

Technorati Tags: Christmas,Goldless Pagan Holiday,The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Hawks have clinched it

The Seahawks have clinched the NFC West title.  Again.  I would've blogged about it earlier, but my Real Life® got in the way (with $Day-Job and all).  Too bad they lost today, though.

Note to Kurt Warner:  You may be a Cardinal, but you need to wear the football helmet.  Not the mitre.

The truth about Santa you really need to know

Santa is white, and he wants your kids to sit in his lap.  Santa is really Michael Jackson.

Santa live is the middle of nowhere, works only one night a year, and has the munchies so bad that he has to have milk and cookies at every stop he makes.  Santa smokes pot (this year I'm gonna leave Doritos for him).

Visions of flying reindeer and toy-making elves?  Santa drops acid.

If you've seen any of the Lord Of The Rings trilogy, you know what elves look like.  Those aren't elves in Santa's workshop.  Those are The Underpants Gnomes (which also explains why you get so much underwear for Christmas).

If you stay up for Santa, and you don't see him, don't be discouraged.  This year he will have to deliver to about 34,722 homes per second.  You only see 24 frames per second at a cinema.

Well, I should stop before I get nothing for Christmas.....

Technorati Tags: Santa, Holiday, The Underpants Gnomes

Say it aint's so!

The Mitchell report has been released regarding the use of steroids in The New World Order (Mind-Control Division).  You can read the entire report here (pdf).  It does name names.  Among the named are:

• Lenny Dykstra
• David Segui
• Larry Bigbie
• Brian Roberts
• Jack Cust
• Tim Laker
• Josias Manzanillo
• Todd Hundley
• Mark Carreon
• Hal Morris
• Matt Franco
• Rondell White
• Andy Pettitte
• Roger Clemens
• Chuck Knoblauch
• Jason Grimsley
• Gregg Zaun
• David Justice
• F.P. Santangelo
• Glenallen Hill
• Mo Vaughn
• Denny Neagle
• Ron Villone
• Ryan Franklin
• Chris Donnels
• Todd Williams
• Phil Hiatt
• Todd Pratt
• Kevin Young
• Mike Lansing
• Cody McKay
• Kent Mercker
• Adam Piatt
• Miguel Tejada
• Jason Christiansen
• Mike Stanton
• Stephen Randolph
• Jerry Hairston
• Paul Lo Duca
• Adam Riggs
• Bart Miadich
• Fernando Vina
• Kevin Brown
• Eric Gagne
• Mike Bell
• Matt Herges
• Gary Bennett
• Jim Parque
• Brendan Donnelly
• Chad Allen
• Jeff Williams
• Exavier "Nook" Logan
• Howie Clark
• Paxton Crawford
• Ken Caminiti
• Rafael Palmeiro
• Luis Perez
• Derrick Turnbow
• Ricky Bones
• Ricky Stone

The innocence is gone.  I will never watch baseball again in the same light.  If I ever watch it at all again.

Technorati Tags: Steriods, The New World Order (Mind-Control Divison)

YAHHGOAP

Yet Another Holy Hand Grenade Of Antioch Post (another one is posted here):

Who knew Monty Python fit so well into anime?

Technorati Tags: Monty Python, The Holy Hand Grenade Of Antioch

Good Riddance

A classic.  John Cleese's eulogy of Graham Chapman:

Technorati Tags: Monty Python, Graham Chapman, John Cleese

It's new!

OK, not necessarily that new, but NASA has remodeled there website.  A good place to poke around.  Especially if you're bored and looking for some desktop wallpaper.....

Technorati Tags: NASA, Space

Dear Santa,

I have been really good this year.  Here's what I want for Christmas......

!The Flying Spaghetti Monster reveals Himself again

This time, The Noodly Master revealed Himself in a pumpkin pie at a recent Thanksgiving dinner.

Ramen.

Technorati Tags: The Flying Spaghetti Monster

What If.....

LIke many people, I use gmail (you can even email me if you wish).  Basically, it's a useful service form Google.  But have you ever wondered what if The Anti-Christ had designed it?

Technorati Tags: Google, The Anti-Christ

Iron Chef

Tonight's battle is featuring Paula Dean and Robert Irvine. I haven't seen this much trash talking, even in the WWE.

Edit: Paula Dean won the battle....

Technorati Tags: Iron Chef, TV, Holiday

So where are you on the internet

Here is a one-page map of The Entire Internet.  Where are you listed?

Technorati Tags: The Internet

DC Comics to jump the shark

A while back, I posted about Marvel Comics jumping the shark when Captain America got killed (apparently, though, Steve Rogers, Captain America's alter ego may not have been killed after all, and could be coming back; allbeit wearing a leather biker jacket and swimming trunks...)

Anyway, now it's DC Comics turn.  Bruce Wayne, aka Batman is about to snuff it..  Good Riddance to that Freeloading Bastard, I hope he fries......(Bonus points if you can figure out who I'm quoting, and from where).

Technorati Tags: Batman, Captain America, Jumping The Shark

So I'm watching the game tonight

And all I have to say is: All your NFC West are belong to Seattle. San Francisco can't even score from the 1 yard line.

Technorati Tags: Seahawks, Football

Have you ever wondered

How are Hard drive works?  Here is an interesting write-up.  When I first bought my computer, it came with a 30-gigabyte HDD (which was a $150.00 upgrade from the original 10 gigabyte).  Then, I shelled out another $150.00 to add a second 30 gig drive.  4 years later, I paid about $80.00 to replace one of them with a 80 gig model, and earlier this year, the other 30-gig drive got replace with a 160 gig drive.  For about $75.00.  Did I also mention that hard drives are becoming cheaper?

More football is coming to Seattle

This is something I'm excited for.  An MLS team is coming to the great Pacific NorthWet.  Of the only six channels that I bother to watch, one is Fox Soccer Channel.

Technorati Tags: Soccer

163 years

The drug crazed moron that shot up the Tacoma Mall 2 years ago got 163 years for it.  He got off way too easy.  I was in the mall that day.  He deserves to be shot himself, just as he shot others (and even paralyzed one, who I happen to count as one of my friends).  Or better yet, don't jail him, don't shoot him.  He should be double-pithed, and left to live his life out as a vegatable.

It's Halloween

So, how many of you will be dressing up as The Chosen People (Pirates), how many of you will be passing out candy to children, and how many of you will just be passing out?

Technorati Tags: Halloween