Happy Holiday to all

Well, today was Christmas, but I didn't celebrate it.  At least, not today.  My siblings & parents celebrated it at my sisters house on Sunday (but I had to work, so I missed it).  Then, the extended family got together on Christmas eve at my grandmother's (yes, I made it to that one.  The appropriate death threat to my boss guaranteed I got the time off for that).  Anywho, here is the list of some of the plunder I got from the Dread Christmas Pirate Santa & The Underpants Gnomes:

• A nice fleece hoodie and a cold (though I could do without that one) from my boss.
• Socks (yes, I did ask them)
• Table ware (plates, bowls, silverware, etc) for at least 6 (thanks to my sister).
• Kitchenware from my parents (maybe my Mom wants me to return her pizza cutter &cheese grater).
• Spam
• A target gift card (you can never go wrong with that).

And what really took the cake was the gift my cousin gave me:

• A roll of Aluminum Foil (specifically so I can make a hat with it).

Technorati Tags: Christmas,Holiday,The Underpants Gnomes

An announcement

My family had the Christmas gathering today.  I missed it due to $day-job, but my sister announced one of the better Christmas presents I have received:

I'm going to  be an uncle.  Again.

Happy Godless Pagan Holiday

Today is Winter Solstice.  Forget Christmas, this is the old skool holiday, predating Christianity by millennia.  With Christmas becoming so commercialized, most people nowadays are now celebrating Winter Solstice, not Christmas, whether they admit it or not.  Your actions speak more about you than your word.

As a devout Pastafarian, I celebrate Holiday, which encompasses all of December and January.  However, since The Flying Spaghetti Monster teaches Flimsy Moral Standards, it doesn't really matter how you celebrate, or what you celebrate, of if you celebrate at all.  As long as you have a good time and wear the Chosen Attire (Full Pirate Regalia).

Ramen.

Technorati Tags: Christmas,Goldless Pagan Holiday,The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Hawks have clinched it

The Seahawks have clinched the NFC West title.  Again.  I would've blogged about it earlier, but my Real Life® got in the way (with $Day-Job and all).  Too bad they lost today, though.

Note to Kurt Warner:  You may be a Cardinal, but you need to wear the football helmet.  Not the mitre.

The truth about Santa you really need to know

Santa is white, and he wants your kids to sit in his lap.  Santa is really Michael Jackson.

Santa live is the middle of nowhere, works only one night a year, and has the munchies so bad that he has to have milk and cookies at every stop he makes.  Santa smokes pot (this year I'm gonna leave Doritos for him).

Visions of flying reindeer and toy-making elves?  Santa drops acid.

If you've seen any of the Lord Of The Rings trilogy, you know what elves look like.  Those aren't elves in Santa's workshop.  Those are The Underpants Gnomes (which also explains why you get so much underwear for Christmas).

If you stay up for Santa, and you don't see him, don't be discouraged.  This year he will have to deliver to about 34,722 homes per second.  You only see 24 frames per second at a cinema.

Well, I should stop before I get nothing for Christmas.....

Technorati Tags: Santa, Holiday, The Underpants Gnomes

Say it aint's so!

The Mitchell report has been released regarding the use of steroids in The New World Order (Mind-Control Division).  You can read the entire report here (pdf).  It does name names.  Among the named are:

• Lenny Dykstra
• David Segui
• Larry Bigbie
• Brian Roberts
• Jack Cust
• Tim Laker
• Josias Manzanillo
• Todd Hundley
• Mark Carreon
• Hal Morris
• Matt Franco
• Rondell White
• Andy Pettitte
• Roger Clemens
• Chuck Knoblauch
• Jason Grimsley
• Gregg Zaun
• David Justice
• F.P. Santangelo
• Glenallen Hill
• Mo Vaughn
• Denny Neagle
• Ron Villone
• Ryan Franklin
• Chris Donnels
• Todd Williams
• Phil Hiatt
• Todd Pratt
• Kevin Young
• Mike Lansing
• Cody McKay
• Kent Mercker
• Adam Piatt
• Miguel Tejada
• Jason Christiansen
• Mike Stanton
• Stephen Randolph
• Jerry Hairston
• Paul Lo Duca
• Adam Riggs
• Bart Miadich
• Fernando Vina
• Kevin Brown
• Eric Gagne
• Mike Bell
• Matt Herges
• Gary Bennett
• Jim Parque
• Brendan Donnelly
• Chad Allen
• Jeff Williams
• Exavier "Nook" Logan
• Howie Clark
• Paxton Crawford
• Ken Caminiti
• Rafael Palmeiro
• Luis Perez
• Derrick Turnbow
• Ricky Bones
• Ricky Stone

The innocence is gone.  I will never watch baseball again in the same light.  If I ever watch it at all again.

Technorati Tags: Steriods, The New World Order (Mind-Control Divison)

YAHHGOAP

Yet Another Holy Hand Grenade Of Antioch Post (another one is posted here):

Who knew Monty Python fit so well into anime?

Technorati Tags: Monty Python, The Holy Hand Grenade Of Antioch

Good Riddance

A classic.  John Cleese's eulogy of Graham Chapman:

Technorati Tags: Monty Python, Graham Chapman, John Cleese

It's new!

OK, not necessarily that new, but NASA has remodeled there website.  A good place to poke around.  Especially if you're bored and looking for some desktop wallpaper.....

Technorati Tags: NASA, Space

Dear Santa,

I have been really good this year.  Here's what I want for Christmas......

!The Flying Spaghetti Monster reveals Himself again

This time, The Noodly Master revealed Himself in a pumpkin pie at a recent Thanksgiving dinner.

Ramen.

Technorati Tags: The Flying Spaghetti Monster

What If.....

LIke many people, I use gmail (you can even email me if you wish).  Basically, it's a useful service form Google.  But have you ever wondered what if The Anti-Christ had designed it?

Technorati Tags: Google, The Anti-Christ

Iron Chef

Tonight's battle is featuring Paula Dean and Robert Irvine. I haven't seen this much trash talking, even in the WWE.

Edit: Paula Dean won the battle....

Technorati Tags: Iron Chef, TV, Holiday

So where are you on the internet

Here is a one-page map of The Entire Internet.  Where are you listed?

Technorati Tags: The Internet

DC Comics to jump the shark

A while back, I posted about Marvel Comics jumping the shark when Captain America got killed (apparently, though, Steve Rogers, Captain America's alter ego may not have been killed after all, and could be coming back; allbeit wearing a leather biker jacket and swimming trunks...)

Anyway, now it's DC Comics turn.  Bruce Wayne, aka Batman is about to snuff it..  Good Riddance to that Freeloading Bastard, I hope he fries......(Bonus points if you can figure out who I'm quoting, and from where).

Technorati Tags: Batman, Captain America, Jumping The Shark

So I'm watching the game tonight

And all I have to say is: All your NFC West are belong to Seattle. San Francisco can't even score from the 1 yard line.

Technorati Tags: Seahawks, Football

Have you ever wondered

How are Hard drive works?  Here is an interesting write-up.  When I first bought my computer, it came with a 30-gigabyte HDD (which was a $150.00 upgrade from the original 10 gigabyte).  Then, I shelled out another $150.00 to add a second 30 gig drive.  4 years later, I paid about $80.00 to replace one of them with a 80 gig model, and earlier this year, the other 30-gig drive got replace with a 160 gig drive.  For about $75.00.  Did I also mention that hard drives are becoming cheaper?

More football is coming to Seattle

This is something I'm excited for.  An MLS team is coming to the great Pacific NorthWet.  Of the only six channels that I bother to watch, one is Fox Soccer Channel.

Technorati Tags: Soccer

163 years

The drug crazed moron that shot up the Tacoma Mall 2 years ago got 163 years for it.  He got off way too easy.  I was in the mall that day.  He deserves to be shot himself, just as he shot others (and even paralyzed one, who I happen to count as one of my friends).  Or better yet, don't jail him, don't shoot him.  He should be double-pithed, and left to live his life out as a vegatable.

It's Halloween

So, how many of you will be dressing up as The Chosen People (Pirates), how many of you will be passing out candy to children, and how many of you will just be passing out?

Technorati Tags: Halloween

It's finally over, The BoSox win it

The Red Sox have won the World Series.  The New World Order (Mind-Control Divison) has now concluded their activities for this year and retreated to their headquarters in Belgium, and it is safe to take off your AFDBs for a while, but do watch out for The Black Helicopters.

Technorati Tags: The New World Order (Mind-Control Divison)

Brother Maynard,

Bring us the Holy Hand Grenade:

 

Yes, I know I posted the Holy Hand Grenade scene before, but Monty Python mashes up so well with anime, that I had to post this. Besides, it explains the Book of Armaments so well.

Technorati Tags: Monty Python, The Holy Hand Grenade Of Antioch

Spaghetti 1, Chef 0

Not even the Swedish Chef can withstand The Flying Spaghetti Monster.  Although the consumption of pasta is always meant to be an occasion of joy,  do not try to eat the Noodly Master Himself.  Even if you are wearing The Chosen Attire (that's Full Pirate Regalia if you're not a devout Pastafarian, in which case, I suggest you start out with the open letter to the Kansas School Board).

Anyhow:

 

Ramen.

Technorati Tags: The Swedish Chef, The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Shocking

I have a day off and its not raining. It actually happens sometimes......

Technorati Tags: Weather, My Day Off

Even Harry Potter has now jumped the shark.

Yes, you heard it.  Harry Potter has now jumped the shark.  Dumbledore is gay.  Now I hear that Ace and Gary are enrolling at Hogwart's, and Ted McGinley has been cast to replace Daniel Radcliffe.

Technorati Tags: Harry Potter, Jumping The Shark, The Ambiguous Gay Duo

Ugh - Miserable Weather

I get a day off, and it's raining as usual.  But it's also so dreary, that I have to turn the lights on at 1 in the afternoon.  Where's that yellow shiny thing in the sky when you need it?

Technorati Tags: Weather, My Day Off

What really happened to the Life Size X-Wing rocket

Sorry people, but this is what really happened to it:

Today's Flying Spaghetti Monster sighting

Is in ancient Egypt.  Oh sure, they say it's a mummy hair-weave, but we all know that it's a manifestation of The Noodly Master.  Ramen.

Technorati Tags: The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Al Gore finally wins something

It may not be 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, but it's still a significant achievement.  Al Gore wins the Nobel Peace Prize.  Like him or hate him, it is still a tall task to pull off....

Coke vs. Pepsi

I grew up in the '80s, when the cola wars were in full swing.  First, it was the 'New Coke', then came Pepsi, with 'The Choice of a New Generation' (I think that's the way it went, thought I must admit that I wasn't really following the ad campaigns for either one....)

Anyway, flash forward to today, where it finally got physical....

Technorati Tags: Battery Acid, Cocaine Flavored Carbonic Acid

70-90 Frames per second gaming

On a P-III even?  OK, so I was only playing South Park (gotta love the old games), which is even older than my computer, which is generally older than dirt.  Then again, my Mom's new Windows Vista laptop is probably old already, and she got it two months ago.....

Technorati Tags: Video Games, South Park, My Computer, The Anti-Christ

If the economy is so bad....

Then why did the Dow Jones close above 14,000 today?

Technorati Tags: The Economy

Here's tonight's sermon

It was preached about 5 years ago, but's its still worthwhile.  Here's Pastor Deacon Fred from Landover Baptist Church preaching to a bunch of atheists:

Yes, Landover Baptist is a parody/satire website, but they've done it right on, and this is worth the laugh.  Now, if he were only in the Chosen Attire (Full Pirate Regalia) and he were preaching about The Noodly Master.

Technorati Tags: Pastor Deacon Fred, Landover Baptist Church

Can you tell?

As you can see from the depressing shade of grey in the sky, I have today off. And my boss hasn't called me in.

Technorati Tags: Weather, My Day Off

If you've ever wondered about.....

Star Trek vs. Star Wars Vs. Babylon 5 vs. Farscape etc.  This won't solve your problems, but it does show all the ships to scale with each other.

Technorati Tags: Various and Sundry Science Fiction Series

But did they have car insurance?

OK, I am currently watching Walking With Cavemen on the Science Channel, and I have to think, would Australopithecus Afarensis use Geico?  And why is the gecko in those damn Geico ads looking a lot like the mascot in SuSE?

Technorati Tags: Geico, Cavemen, Linux

Avast, ye scurvy land-lubbers

It be International Talk Like A Pirate Day, one of the holiest days in the pastafarian faith (Ramen).  Splice your main brace, shiver yer timbers, & buckle yer swash.  It's time to go out on the 7 seas and plunder.  But first, get yer pirate name here.  This year, I'd be Iron Roger Rackham.

Technorati Tags: International Talk Like A Pirate Day, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, Pirates

If you thought American sports fines were stiff

The check out what FIA did to McClaren.  They lost all their manufacturers' points and they were fined $100 million.  When I last had the chance to track Formula One, the average fine was about $10,000.  Before today, the stiffest fines I had seen issued were from the NBA (word to the wise: don't piss David Stern off, even though he is a roody-poo, candy-ass pile of monkey crap). 

Technorati Tags: Formula One, FIA, McClaren

Happy Anniversary

Voyager is now 30 years old.  I was only a child when they encountered Jupiter and Saturn, and didn't really pay attention to it.  Until I saw the National Geographic articles.  I've been fascinated with space exploration ever since then.

Technorati Tags: Voyager, Space, Science

The world is quiet, a voice is stilled

Pavarotti has passed away.  RIP Luciano.

Technorati Tags: Pavarotti

So I get a day off today

And Western Washington gets record-breaking rainfall.  It's all a conspiracy between my boss and The Weather Channel, I tell you....

Happy Birthday Igwanarob

I hope you're enjoying your annual ass-sitting.  Save me a piece of cake.

Technorati Tags: Igwanarob, Birthdays

A thought for tonight.

This occurred to me while on the bus: Respect is a two way street. Don't complain about not getting it when the driver tells you to watch your language. Unless, you like walking after you get banned from Pierce Transit.

EDIT: Yes. I know already I can't spell....

Technorati Tags: Pierce Transit

Starbuck, Apollo, and

Jay and Silent Bob?  It could happen.  Kevin Smith is set to direct a Battlestar Galactica episode

Technorati Tags: Kevin Smith, Battlestar Galactica

.

The PC is here.

Now i just have to wait for the cable guy to show up. The furniture will come later.

Moving Update

Lease has been signed, security deposit has been paid.  Move in starts tomorrow.  My other roommates have found places to go.  It's just we now have to get there.

If you don't see me for a while....

It's because my Real Life® (ie $day-job & my move) is going to be taking precedence in my priorities for the next week or to.  Until then:

Reader, adieu.

It's a holiday today.

No it's not Holiday, nor is it International Talk Like A Pirate Day.  It's Left Hander's Day.  A day that I can celebrate (being a southpaw, too).  Some other southpaws include (in no particular order):

1. Matthew Broderic
2. Charlie Chaplin
3. Kirk Cobain
4. George H. W. Bush (not the current moron in the White House, but his father)
5. Bill Clinton
6. Isaac Newton
7. Benjamin Franklin
8. Leonardo daVinci
9. Michelangelo
10. Ned Flanders
11. Napoleon

Technorati Tags: Left Handed Day

You can have too much coffee

As this 17-year-old learned the hard way.  You don't need that much coffee to see The Underpants Gnomes (in fact if you don't wee them, then you haven't had enough).

Technorati Tags: The Underpants Gnomes

Who's going to win

Pirates or Ninjas.  Of course, being a devout Pastafarian, I have to go for the Pirates.  After all, they are The Chosen People of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Technorati Tags: The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Moving.....

I will be moving soon.  I've already been to my new apartment, and I have the keys.  If all goes well, I will sign the lease and move in next week.  My access to the Internet shouldn't be that interrupted (I've got the cable guy coming in on Saturday to set up service at my new apartment, and I've made the arrangements to have the computer there.  This is something I don't want to do (moving is such a pain in the ass), but I have to.  On the bright side, the bus line I'll be one is so much better (chief at $day-job will be so much happier that I can stay later without having to make arrangements ahead of time). 

So long, Puyallup.

Found

Today while cleaning my room, I noticed an anti-static bag underneath one of my speaker shelves.  It turns out to be my old 56k modem that I thought I threw out.  I've upgraded to broadband (and I connect through an Ethernet card, so I can use a router firewall), and I eventually took out the modem, as it had come loose and was causing installation issues.  I'm still going to keep it, as it does have HPNA, and it may come in handy later on (more importantly, I have the drivers for it).

My new apartment

This may not look much, but it will be my new home in a short while. Oh, did I mention that I'm moving?

 

EDIT: Yes, I know it's blurry, but what do you expect from a cell phone camera?

2 out of 3

The Mariners just beat the Angels to take 2 out of three for the series.  Welcome to the pennant race, Mariners.  You're only three games out of first place, and only one game out of the wild card.  The New World Order (Mind-Control Division) can be interesting if the team you're rooting for is a contender.  And we're not the Yankees, to beat (note to Mr. Steinbrenner, you can't just buy another World Series ring with team payroll.  You actually need to be less than 7 games behind the Bosox).

Technorati Tags: The New World Order (Mind-Control Division)

This is what happens

When a windows user gets a tattoo.  I wonder if The Anti-Christ has taken notice, yet.

Technorati Tags: The Anti-Christ

Let's have one last colortini

Tom Snyder has passed away.  A sad day for all of TV-dom.

If you thought just one sun is hot enough

Then check out this one from APOD.  4 suns.  Get your sunblock ready.

A Hilton with Balls. Finally.

Paris's Grandpa has finally cut her off.  Instead of funding drunk driving convictions, 23 day jail stays, and sex tapes, Conrad Hilton's $2.4 billion will got to charity.  It's his money, let him give it away.  As for Paris, now is good time to start looking for a job, and join the rest of us who work for a living.

EDIT:  Apparently, he's cutting her off after all.

Just something interesting.....

This is a slow-mo of a tank round being fired:

 

This appears to be some sort of fin-stabilized round (most likely since most, if not all, tank guns in US inventory are smoothbore).  I want to say that it's a sabot round, but I don't see the sabots being discarded.  Perhaps any of you readers out there (maybe someone who shoots these for a living) has a better idea about what this is....

It's not supposed to...

Rain like a cow pissing on a rock in July. But, this is Washington, and we all have gills here.

EDIT:  I have now changed the settings on my cell-phone, camera.  My next picture won't be that small.

Nothing to see here.

But the Noodly Master. Ramen. Resized for my cell phone (and btw, I also use this form my desktop on my main computer).  Actually I just set up my mobile phone so I could post directly from it.

Technorati Tags: The Flying Spaghetti Monster

And the current GOP pick for President is:

None Of The Above?  All I'm going to say is one should vote his/her conscience.  If that means none of the current candidates fit, then don't vote for them.  I, for one, have voted for JP Patches and Gertrude for office in the past.

And he deserves every penny

Ichiro just got a 5-year, $90 million contract extension. I seen his performance in The New World Order (Mind-Control Division). I think the Mariners are still getting a bargain on this.

 

Technorati Tags: The New World Order (Mind-Control Divison)

Today's Lesson is:

Always turn on the light in the laundry room before you start the washer.  Unless, of course, you're the type who likes to put a capful of fabric softener in his wash when you were going for the detergent.  At least they'll smell clean.......

This has been stuck in my head lately...

I don't know if they rock as much as Weezer does (at least according to Igwanarob's opinion in a recent post), but I can't get this song out of my head.  I do like the video, though.

Technorati Tags: Music, The Rentals

A note to those who supervise

If you're a boss/supervisor/overlord, and your employees have access to really large and powerful shredders, then at least make sure you get out of your car before you piss your employees off.  For example:

 

Technorati Tags: Cars, Destruction

I can now close my tower up again.....

I finally broke down and bought a case fan today.  When I upgraded my video card (which necessitated a new power supply), I was plagued with system bug-checks (you know, when Windows XP just restarts on you), as I have posted here.  With a new fan in place, I can now close the side of the tower, and use my night stand fan to cool myself.  We'll see how it goes....

It's the Fourth of July......

Have a happy National Get Drunk And Blow Yourself Up Day.  Only in America, can you celebrate freedom, independence, and liberty by burning your house down and blowing yourself up.  I for one will be leaving it to the professionals, and will be watching it on TV.  Well, if you're going to play with fire, just remember this:  If you still have all your fingers left when all is said and done, then you didn't do it right....

Where have the posts gone?

If you're looking for a particular post here and it just up and disappeared, it's probably because I just deleted it.  Not that I wanted to, but the links in them were stale, and it would be pointless to have a link go nowhere.......

Happy Birthday AT&T Gage Robinson

I know this is a wee bit late, but I was too busy stuffing AT&T Nick Trifonoff's mailbox with ecards....

Technorati Tags: Birthdays

Ok, it's been awhile

Since I posted here.  Sorry, but my bills just won't pay themselves, and I don't have access to a computer with an Internet connection at work.  And quite frankly, I think my boss would just prefer that I not write blog entries when I'm on the job.  Since my job is mostly non-IT, this is an easy directive to comply with.....  Having said that, there's been a buncha stuff that's been going on (in no particular order, by the way):

1. Mariners sweep the BoSox.  The team with the best record in The New World Order (Mind-Control Division) got their heads handed to them on a silver platter.  Don't fret.  It is still June.  The Mariners have all summer long to choke it before the play-offs come.
2. Chris Benoit.  I don't know of any appropriate link for this one, save for Google news.  Any way you look at it, this is a tragedy all around.  It now appears that he killed his wife and son &then hung himself.  Steroids are evil.  Of all the professional wrestlers who've passed away, many have died as a result of drug use or complications thereof.  Take, for example Davey Boy Smith (heart attack caused by past steroid use), 'Mr. Perfect' Curt Hennig (cocaine overdose) and Eddie Guerrero (heart disease from drug use).  I no longer watch WWE.  Vince McMahon needs to come clean on drug use in the WWE.  All of it.  Besides, WWE had jumped the shark long before. All Vince McMahon needs to do now is give Ted McGinley a title belt.
3. The iPhone is out.  So, I can pay $500.00 up front for a phone and then pay $60.00 - $100.00 a month to Ma Bell to use it.  I'll stick with my Samsung T619, thank you.  Besides, my calling plan has more minutes for a lower price (Thank you, T-Mobile).  I should also add that I am required to openly question the manhood of any person who uses an iPhone or a Mac.
4. Paris Hilton got out of jail again.  Paris, I have only one bit of advice for you: STOP BREAKING THE LAW! What you do with your riches is none of my business, but you are subject to the same laws and statutes that I am.  Break the law, go to jail.  End of discussion.

Technorati Tags: The New World Order (Mind-Control Division), Chris Benoit, iPhone, Paris Hiltion, T-Mobile

This is to put humanity back in it's place

Sure, man has done many things, some even being great (like General Tso's Chicken).  But in the big scheme of things, we aren't that significant, yet.  Hell, we haven't even been around that long, as Carl Sagan demonstrates:

 

Technorati Tags: Cosmos, Carl Sagan

Two Shutouts in a row...

The Mariners have won again.  Not only that, but they've not allowed a run.  Yes, they did get swept recently, but this was probably orchestrated  by The New World Order (Mind-Control Division) to make things interesting.  Caution is advised, as while the Mariners can be entertaining, you must always wear your aluminum foil hat, to make sure you're protected from their nefarious psychotronic radiation, as I have repeated before.  I can not stress this enough.

 Btw, The Cincinnati Reds (and Ken Griffey, Jr.) are in town tomorrow.  I don't know whether or not to welcome him, or to boo his ass out of the stadium.  Probably the latter.  The taxpayers of Washington State (and King County especially) are burdened with paying for Large Insurance Company Field, which was built to essentially his specifications (think the retractable roof), and he was gone less than a season after it had opened.  There are people who would welcome you back, but I say Ken Griffey, Jr. can kiss my ass.

Technorati Tags: The New World Order (Mind-Control Division)

What really happened after Anakin Turned to the Dark Side....

No, he didn't go trash the Jedi Temple like that moron Lucas would have you believe.  He was put on guard duty.  And Graham Chapman played Obiwan Kenobi (and did a pretty good job at it.  Think of how much better Star Wars would be if they had Brother Maynard and The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch....

 

Technorati Tags: Monty Python, Star Wars

New Windows Live Writer released

The Anti-Christ has released another version of Windows Live Writer.  While it's still a beta, it now supports labels natively (the one draw-back to using the performancing/scribe-fire extension in firefox is that, while it supports labeling, I'm not the bestest of spellers, and I've misspelled my fair share of tags, as you can see....). It still supports Technorati tagging.  As for how well it posts, I wrote this post in it....

Technorati Tags: The Anti-Christ, Blogging, Windows Live Writer

Hawking to write children's' book

MC Hawking is writing a children's' book. I still have my copy of A Brief History Of Time somewhere around here. He'll either teach us about science or how to kick it Old Skool (video of the latter here).

 

EDIT:  Yes, I am know I can't spell....

Technorati Tags: MC Hawking

Safari For Windows released

Apple has now released Safari for Windows. It claims to be faster than Firefox, Opera, or whatever the hell The Anti-Christ puts out. Visually, the interface looks a lot like ITunes, (which I don't use). It is still beta, so I won't switch to it completely (unlike when I discovered Firefox, I switched immediately even before it was beta, but then again, my only alternative was Intranet Exploder). Firefox is in no danger of being replaced as my default browser (I like my firefox and 64 extensions, some of which I actually use).


By the way, this is my 200th post.

This is incredibly complicated...

Too complicated, in my opinion. I mean, seriously if you want some Top Ramen that bad, you should not have to resort to elaborate machinery. Even I know how to prepare it. But then again, it is rather enertaining.....

A sweep....

The Northwest Division of The New World Order (Mind-Control Divison) just swept the Padres, who, btw are the leaders of the NL West. I may actually watch the games again. The Yankees also swept, but they're still 9.5 games back. Just remember if you watch the games: Shiny Side Out! You may end up believing that Belgium really exists. Or even worse, you may end up being a Yankees fan.

How spam got it's name

Have you ever wondered why spam got named after SPAM?

A brief lesson in French

A brief history of dirty words, and how they got dirty. All I can say is knock off the (*&%* language...

Soloway nailed

Mr Linford over at Spamhaus posted this this morning (actually, it's a US DOJ press release):

U.S. Department of Justice



United States Attorney

Western District of Washington



700 Stewart Street, Suite 5220Tel:  (206) 553-7970

Seattle, Washington 98101-1271Fax: (206) 553-0882





FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

May 30, 2007



PRESS CONFERENCE ON ³SPAM KING² INDICTMENT



The U.S. Attorney¹s Office will hold a press conference following the

arrest of 27-year-old ROBERT ALAN SOLOWAY.  SOLOWAY was indicted last

week by a federal grand jury in Seattle in connection with his illegal

spamming activities.



The press conference will begin at 1:30 in the Wales Conference Room of

the U.S. Attorney¹s Office.  United States Attorney Jeffrey C. Sullivan

will be joined by representatives from the United States Postal

Inspection Service (USPIS), FBI, FTC, Internal Revenue Service Criminal

Investigations (IRS-CI), and Washington State Attorney General¹s Office.



SOLOWAY will make his initial appearance in U.S. District Court at 2:30

today.  Copies of the indictment will be available at the press

conference or are online via the PACER system.

A PDF of the indictment is here.

So good I can't comment on it....

Weezer on the Muppet Show (yes, I know it's not exactly the Muppet Show, but any music video with the Swedish Chef can't be that bad.

Those voices in your head may be real after all...

It may simply turn out to be a load of mites...

My favorite cartoon...

Or at least one of of my favorites - What's Opera Doc?

It can't be all that bad...

Don't let life get you down. You can bounce back from anything. Even losing your head. Like this woman.....

Dell gets sued

This is why I own a Gateway. The New York AG is suing Dell for deceptive advertising practices, and various and sundry other things that customers really find not to be pleasant. Some of my friends have Dells, and those are the ones that I'm called upon to fix. But my 6 1/2 year-old Gateway is still going strong. With the execption of the one time that I unplugged it without turning off the power strip, and I blew out my modem and sound card (about $100 to replace, too). Ouch.

Ok, I have just one question for you:

What's on your mind?

Some, shall we say, "very happy" mercahndise

See it here.  I have no comment.

RIP Wally Schirra

He flew in Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo (IIRC the only astronaut to do all three). He has died at age of 84. We've all lost a hero.

This is what happens when I get a day off....

Taken from near my apartment door. Note the clouds, rain, and a touch of hail.

Thous shalt no steal....

Ok, so this was only a bicycle, but still don't go stealing. Sting operations aren't for cop shows anymore...

I'm not dead yet....

Between working a string of extended shifts at my $dayjob and trying to rebuild my computer, it has been impossible to post anything of late.

So, who's all appreared on Sesame Street?

Here's a list of celebrities who've appeared on Sesame Street.  For some reason, I can't seem to find the episode where Grover goes off on some five-year-old about the Force.  Then again, I can't find Yoda lecturing Anakin Skywalker about the letter J, either.

Google buys doubleclick

Google buys doubleclick.  As to what changes will have to be made in my HOSTS file to kill the ads, I don't know yet.  But I do recommend a HOSTS file (it will work in Windoze, Linux and Mac).





Technorati Tags: google

Ok, if you in the mood for a pancake

And all you have is your heroin kit, here is how you make your flapjacks.  Do remember, though, that you'll need and extra syringe for the syrup.

Have you ever wondered

When you put dry ice in a sink full of soapy dish water? BTW, did I mention that I got a new camera phone last week?


\

Happy Easter

I hope you all have had a happy Godless Pagan Spring Holiday. I really don't do the Easter Candy anymore, but this was a holiday today, and it was a day off today.

A quick safety tip

If after reading this, you still insist on not wearing a seatbelt and driving under the influence, you deserve to be taken out of the gene pool.

Ok, who has to go.

Some of the weirdest plumbing fixtures (aka thrones) around. I for one, would prefer to use the horn....

Get you tin-foil hats out

The New World Order (Mind-Control Division) is starting again.  I expect the Mariners to choke it again.  I think the Cardinals may take the World Series again.  Especially with their hitting (although it should be expected since it does throw off the pitching when you go to the plate wearing your mitre and choir dress).





Technorati Tags: The New World Order (Mind-Control Divison)

The Internet's going down the toilet!

Google is introducing free, wireless broadband. There's just one hitch..... (link)



Technorati Tags: Google, April Fool's

Goldfish is a depp fryer?!

Apparently this is a functioning deep fryer with a real livbe goldfish tnk at the bottom.



Since the hot oil naturally floats on the water, the goldfish aren't apparently fried. Not that I would want to constantly eat deep fried fish food....

Friends don't let friends

Drive Drunk. Actual 1979 PSA:

Almost 200

Did a windows rebuild tonight. The first thing I do (after calling The Anti-Christ to activate it) is to go to Windows Update and get all the relevant update. Tonight, I'm pushing almost 200 megabytes (and this is with service pack 2 already slipstreamed into the disk). Either it's time for another update, it's time to just make an Operating System out of nothing but patches.

The Birth Spasm! It has Occured!

My employers had a baby girl Friday night. Of course this means they're unavailable to work, and so I had to pick up the slack, and work open to close three days in a row (I will not mention where my $day-job is, or where I work at in this blog. Just in case my employers and I don't see eye to eye, and I'm not really in the mood to burn bridges). But anyway, pass the cigars around (or the grog, if you don't smoke), and grin, and feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and .........



[Remind me not to have Brother Maynard write the blog entries any more]



Oh, and both the Bulldogs and the Cougars choked it in the big dance. Maybe next year. Although, I was surpised the Cougars even had a baseketball team (I mean, it's an indoor sport, and the cheerleaders have no place in the venue to graze). Gonzaga should perhaps try not letting junkies be starters.

Arrrgh!

Today's stupid bonehead mistake:



I was going to go from a single boot system (with WinXP) to a multi-boot system, which usually means wiping the drives completely to resize the partitions to make room. I'm usually ok with this, as I have two hard drives, and I never keep the 'My Documents' folder on the same drive as the Windows directory. Unfortunately, this time I wiped out the wrong drive (Actually I had moved everything to a temporary partition first. I just deleted the temporary partition without moving everything back th where it should've gone). So I pulled out my archive DVD's. My last backup was January 29. I lost at most a few pictures and mp3s, and I can restore those. But it's a pain in the arse.



Somehow this is all AT Ellen Norberg's fault.

Marvel Comics Jumps The Shark.

Marvel Comics has now jumped the shark. Captain America is now dead. All superman could say is 'Been There, Done That'. Now all Marvel needs to do is make Ted MkGinley a superhero....

Why I will shop at Office Depot

Office Depot customer service representative goes above and beyond the call of duty. True, the store could have handled it better (like honoring the advertised price, or not offering a half-assed excuse for not honoring it). But, in the end, the CSR saved the day. Generally, when the Corporate Office gets called, something terrible has gone wrong, and it's up to them to put it right.





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Teach Your Children Well

And what a better way to do it than with The Flying Spaghetti Monster Coloring Book. Sure, you've got your kids the requisite eye-patches, the parrots, and the peg-legs, but what have you taught them about The Noodly Master and His Truth?



Ramen.

We've all been burned before

But here are various and sundry rock stars have actually caught fire on stage. They all survived. With the exceptions of the heretics and witch. And that f(&*^* ass-hot who turned me into a newt.

On to Pluto

NASA's New Horizons has swung by Jupiter on it's way to Pluto. No word on whether or not it'll swing by Uranus or not, but it might still be prudent to keep your pants up until the.



Technorati Tags: Space, Pluto

MC Hawking to go weightless

MC Hawking is to experience zero gravity this April. Here is a recent music video (Sorry YouTube doesn't have 'All My Shootings Be Drive-bys'):





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A Real Class Act

Craig Ferguson on Britney Spears:



He speaks of his own problems with alcoholism, his sobering up, and why he won't make fun of Britney Spears.  It's nice to see that there are still class acts on TV.

MacBook 1, Cat 0

See the cat vs. Macbook. Not surprisingly, the cat loses....





Technorati Tags: Cats

ANother good use for duct tape....

You can use it to tie up astronauts who flip it. Or you can simply promise them a 900 mile drive in a diaper when they land.





Technorati Tags: Space

The Britney Spears rehab count is now at

Three. As much as I (like nearly everybody else) likes to follow the celebrities and make fun of there hi-jinks, she really does need some help.

Happy Chinese New Year

Now begins the Year Of The Pig (or to be more precise, the Year Of The Boar). For Christmas this year, my brother-in-law did a wee bit of Chinese astrology and got us all presents based on the year we were born. I was born in the Year Of The Cow, and so I got a couple of ceramic cows (well one of them's a wind chime, but I don't want to push my luck w/ the neighbors).

On the frailties of life....

It wasn't until I was in the eighth grade that I really took an interest in the newspaper. Of course there were the headline, the top stories, and comics, etc. But there was one column I always looked forward to reading. L. M. Boyd's trivia column. Some of you may know him as Mike Mailway. Throughout the years, the service of the local newspapers left me disgusted (multiple billings, failed deliveries), but his column was still the only reason why I still read the paper each day (that and a little bit of Garfield, too). And then one day in December of 2000, he announced his retirement. I canceled my News Tribune subscription a few months later.



Human life can be so fleeting. People you see here today can be gone tomorrow in a flash. This Christmas Eve, I was overnighting at my Grandmother's house. When I went to bed that night, the thoughts were of joy and happiness. When I got up the next morning, the first headline I see was James Brown passing away. Then Gerald Ford went the same way, too. A couple of weeks later Saddam Hussein snuffed it. And then last week, Anna Nicole Smith passed on.



Why am I saying this? Because I just found about L. M. Boyd's passing (obit here). Forget Ann Landers, or Dear Abbey. He was my favorite. Now that he's gone, I have no other reason to read newspapers (there are a whole bunch of other ways to get the news, like google, for instance).

Anna Nicole Smith is dead

Anna Nicole Smith has died. She was only a few years older than I am. Make one want to ponder the frailties of life.....

Hey, Igwanarob

Enjoy your new pipe. Although I shouldn't say that, given my personal view on smoking. At one time or another, we've all been burned on the Internet. I have it happen to me a couple of times. The first time was when I decided to buy a model of the USS Voyager (from Star Trek Voyager), and someble took my credit card and decided to buy $600.00 dollars of viagra. A phone call to police, and another to the credit card comany to dispute the charge took care of that. Then there was time I decided I had to have Encarta 2002 (this was before I discovered Wikipedia - for better or for worse, at least it's not published by The Anti-Christ). Ordered it online from The Anti-Christ, and they shipped by DHL. Who promptly decided to leave it at my door-stop without bothering to take to the apartment manager's (who btw, will receive packages) office, like brown or fed-ex do. So, guess who's three figure software shipment was stolen? And then when I called to complain, I was simply told to pound sand. A few expletive filled phone calls to both microsoft and dhl got it straightened out, and I ended up getting what I wanted at Officemax, who btw really kick ass when it comes to getting what I need, and then taking it back when I realize I got the wrong part to begin with.





Technorati Tags: The Anti-Christ, UPS, DHL, Fedex, Igwanarob

If you though your job paid well

Rod Stewart is getting offered cool mil for a one-hour gig. And I thought the ¢50 raise I got was good....







Technorati Tags: Rod Stewart, Music

One of the last honest cops.....

A Wisconsin police chief wrote himself a $235 ticket for failing to stop for a school bus. I wish the Puyallup Police Department had that kind of integrity. But they don't. I don't even trust them to call 911 anymore. They'll probably just be playing office politics rather than take the call seriously.....

An open letter to my boss

Unless somebody in your family is getting married or buried, don't call me in on my day off. If you need me to work six-day weeks, that fine with me. Just put it on the farking schedule! I usually don't have any plans on my days off because they're days of rest. Not days that you can call me in at you leisure.

A Wicked and Adulterous Generation Seeketh after a sign

Well, not necessarily that, but a bunch of physicists (and other with more advanced degrees than dates) have developed a test to prove string theory. They have it wrong on two points:

1. It's not strings you're looking for. It's the Noodly Appendages.
2. As if you need to find proof. Look around you. There are signs of the Noodly Master's greatness everywhere. For Example, when He revealed himself to NASA.

Well, maybe if they wear the Chosen Attire (which is, of course, Full Pirate Regalia), maybe the Noodly Master will reveal himself to them.



Until then, Ramen.





Technorati Tags: The Flying Spaghetti Monster, Science Stuff

The country with the highest crime rate is

The Vatican City? What part does the pope live in, South-Central?

And you thought your driving instructions were crazy....

Check this one out. I have to use tinyURL on this one, as google likes to choke when you try to put ' in weblinks.

A Dramatic re-enactent

Of Tony Romo's present to Seattle in last week's game:




Technorati Tags: Football, Seahawks

Snow, snow, snow

It's been snowing pretty heavily tonight. Enough that the Puyallup Police Department has essentially closed off South Hill to all traffic (save foot traffic, which is really the only way to get around). It's a good thing I have tommorrow off. I don't think I'd be able to make in to work anyway.

Herman and Grandpa now have Lily to join them

Yvonne De Carlo, also known to most of the TV watching community as Lily Munster has passed away. She nows joins Fred Gwynne (Herman Munster), and Al Lewis (Grandpa Munster) in the Great Sit-Com In The Sky.



Ramen.

A note to Tony Romo

Thank you. For the kind present you gave us when you fumbled the field goal snap with about a minute to go. Too bad that this is the end of the Cowboys' playoff hope, as I wanted to see Terell Owens get many more well-deserved beatings.

Technorati Tags: Football, Seahawks

It does not matter......

If the Seahawks win or lose. It's whether or not TO get his well-deserved beating.

Go Hawks.

Technorati Tags: Football, Seahawks